Let it rain....oops storm!

Look at Miss Sadie Mae laying there. Isn't she cute? She was pissed off at the camera flashes, but hell when she's half awake is the only time you can get a decent picture of her it seems. ;)

I am going to KILL my friend Amanda. I saw the cutest cat in the world today at Petco, and I swear I really wanted to adopt her. But three cats and one dog is enough, but this cat looked just like my cat Thumper I had as a kid, except she was gray. Real sweet, I even got to hold her. Well I told my friend about the cat, and she went and adopted the cat! UGH! No chance of me talking my parents into another one, but hey she's got a great home. She was beautiful!

Got home and it looked like it was about to storm here. Well all it did was darken up until I talked to Marci and I had mentioned it was going to rain. She was talking about how she got burnt riding her bike and its like WEAR AND REAPPLY SUNBLOCK! Plain and simple! You can be easy to tan but you can also be easy to burn and then tan. (AKA ME) So she signed off and then like a few minutes later a rumble of thunder went from one side of the house to the other. It was creepy and spooky sounding. I thought I was dreaming of rain, apparently not!

So tonight, tomorrow and Monday the forecast is STORMS STORMS AND STORMS! Yippee! Luckily we are getting to the end of our tornado season here in NC. ;) HAH!

Anyways I am off....listening to the idiot bugs hitting the window. ;)

The latest drama....

It was so beautiful last week....Sadie and I sat outside many days in the yard like this. Of course the little nut wouldn't look at the camera! I never can get a picture of her face!

Ok everyone sitting down, or wait you may want to stand up for this or be near a bathroom....because look at the latest from the saga of my brother's ex!

My brother has talked about the plans for this summer with my niece. He gets her 3 weeks during the summer and 2 of them will be spent here, well one at the beach and one here. So the other week he talked about me coming up and we taking Gaia to Cedar Point (amusement park in Ohio) and he said something about a place called Magic Mountain. So apparently Gaia knows of this and told her mom. Well get this; here's what she said to it, "YOUR DADDY IS A THIEF! THAT WAS MOMMY'S IDEA!" (something like that) I about fell over laughing when my mom told me this. Its like no he's not a thief, he just has the same idea! Well I was like ya know, our trip to CP will be better. I swear his ex is a NUT CASE! She needs mental help!

Anyways theres my post for the day. :)

9 years ago today....

Why do people say that with time you forget the past events? That is so not true. 9 years ago I was a senior in high school and 18 years old and counting down the final weeks until graduation. I think the only thing I was worried about was if I was going to have to take any final exams and if I had past the stupid state tests.

I got home from school that day, and like any day I turned on the TV to watch it or probably was going to work-out. I noticed that the TV was on CNN and remember being peeved about that, but instead of changing the channel, I saw that there had been a shooting at a school outside of Denver. Never had heard of the town and it was scary when they were first coming up with the numbers. The worst injured had 8 shrapnal wounds in her chest and I was like how could anyone be shot that much and there was no confirmed # of the dead at that time.

I finally turned the TV and started doing my homework and was on the computer. A friend of mine from Washington state called me and asked if I had heard about the shootings. Of course, I was yeah its terrible. Then she went on to tell me that she knew 2 people that attended the school and hadn't been able to get ahold of them or had talked to them. At that moment I was like, they are probably in shock, probably were near where the shootings happened and to give them a few days. If they were injured, they'd be on a list coming out eventually.

That eventually came minutes later when they had lists posted online. I checked over the injured list first, thinking if anything they'd be on there, I still didn't know the death toll number. Out of 2000 people, come on no way. Neither name was on the list and I was like give them a few days and they will be back online or call them tomorrow or whatever. She begged me to check the dead list and I said over and over nothing was wrong, but I finally checked. I got down the list and it was about at the end of it, I felt deep down neither name would be on there. I got down and read the teacher's name "Dave Sanders" and then without realizing it I read "Rachel Scott." I stopped after I realized what I had said and realized what I just did. Rachel was the first person shot outside of the school eating lunch with a friend (who was also shot...but survived). Her younger brother, Craig, was in the library under a table with 2 friends (who were both shot and killed) and he played dead in his friend's blood.

I spent the rest of my school year living in fear of what happened at Columbine would happen at my own school. The next day I got my lunch in the out skirts of the cafeteria, I ate in the choir hallway where my next class was going to be. I spent my study hall's in the library before Columbine, but not after. I never returned to the library, the one time I had to, I stood as close to the door as I could get.

Please never forget the tragedies that have happened before and since the shootings at Columbine. Eric and Dylan started something and so many kids have tried to finish what they started. If some one you know, love or some one that knows some one or some one they love has said something to the lines they are going to do something like this, tell some one else, tell the police, tell a counselor. Make sure it never happens to you, make sure you aren't me telling some one their friend is dead. You can make a difference.

My ever so daring dog!

I had to post this of Sadie, she really didn't want a bath, but this her trying to JUMP out of the sink afterwards.

Hello! :o)

Well its official one of the 2 kiddos born in 2001 in our family is 7! Yep! Sadie turned 7 on the 12th, and here's the picture I snapped of her waking up that morning. Isn't she cute? She got a cookie with peanut butter on top. She inhaled it instead of chewing it. But it was funny she had her musical birthday cake out all week and went and grabbed it rather than any other toy on Saturday. Now she hasn't had it out since.

Well I have been home alone since my parents went to Denver. I would've loved going there, haven't been out there since Gaia was born and its just a beautiful state and ugh. So the dog goes into a catatonic state when she's here with me and won't do anything but put the tail between her legs and mope around. The only time she gets happy is when I say lets go for a walk! She won't sleep downstairs either, which is bothersome. She usually does when my parents are out of town, but this is her new thing at the moment.

So Monday morning, my aunt and uncle called me and asked if I would want to go out to dinner on Tuesday and I said yeah sure, early AM and asking me where I would like to go eat! Yeah, my brain doesn't function too well when I am woken up! HAH! So last night, they were suppose to come get me at 7 and it wasn't until after 8 that we left. It was nice. Its weird living so close to family, they live like 3 miles down the road from us and at one point they lived over-seas and wasn't very close. ;) So we went to this place in Pinehurst and I had chicken parmasian and it was awesome! I am not big about having tomato sauce on my pasta, but this was just perfect! It was a huge serving too, I am going to make it for dinner tonight. Too great! :o)

That's all that has been going on really. Except my friend that has a set of 2 y/o twins found out yesterday she's pregnant with her 2nd set! YAY! :o) I can't wait to see how the pregnancy goes and hopefully she won't be loosing a baby or both this time. (long story)

I am off! Congrats Marci on your performances over the weekend! :)

Spring is here...along with the pollen!

Spring is here and everything is in bloom, but hell shoot me! We go through this period of time where the pine trees release this gross yellow stuff and its allergy hell for like 2-3 weeks around here. Not only that the cars are a nice shade of yellow! ITS ANNOYING! I hate this time of the year for that reason.

Oh my gosh not this weekend, but I believe the following marks 9 years since Columbine happened. Oh my gosh I still remember walking into the family room and turning on the TV and seeing the news on CNN about a shooting in Colorado. The worse thing they had heard about was some one having 8 gunshot woods and it was alarming. Even more so when they came and told the death toll. It was shocking to hear those numbers. That night, a friend of mine called me and had asked if I heard about the shootings. I was like yeah, its terrible! She then told me that she knew two people that went there, a brother and a sister. She said she didn't hear from either one of them and no one was answering the phone. I was like they are probably in shock and to give them a few days. I was online and she then asked me if they had names posted, and they did. One for the injured and one with the dead, she asked me to see if either was on the injured list and they weren't. I still remember her begging me to look at the dead list and I was like they aren't dead! After awhile I finally looked at the dead list and remember saying Dave Sanders and that he was a teacher, and then I read Rachel Scott, her friend. I was in shock! I could not believe what I had just read and it took me a second to realize I had told her that her friend was dead. She later found out that her brother, Craig, played dead in the library in two of his friends blood. To this day, 4/20 its hard to think past telling my friend that news and even more hearing the horror stories from a survivor.

I still can't process how anyone could fire off 60 shots and shoot 50-60 people like that guy at Va Tech did. You pray so hard after you have a personal experience (well in a sense) that it would never happen to another family, that they have to go through loosing their child to a total nut case, but that guy at VA Tech was a total nut case. The Illinois shooter's mother saw warning signs in her son, what I don't get is why she didn't try harder to stop what he did. Ugh! I say, if you hear anyone talk about it, even jokingly, to report it.

Anyways....I am out. :)

What a weekend........

If you were curious, there's the full picture of my picture on my blog. :o)

Ok Saturday, I am not getting into details about what happened, but I have a ruptured tendon in my wrist. I have broken a bone and everything in the book, but this is very painful. :( My friend has done this before, but oh my gosh she wasn't kidding when she said it hurt like a yeah. My whole hand is bruised along with the top of my wrist on the side. Nice! :(

Oh I am excited about this summer right now. My brother gets my niece 3 weeks during the summer and 2 of those weeks (98% will be spent here) will be in North Carolina. But my mom goes that he has kind of thrown out the idea about me going up there for one of her weeks! Then we go to Cedar Point up in Sandusky, which is this kick-ass amusement park! Screw the ideas of going somewhere else this summer, I want to go so badly to CP or Kings Island. Gaia is right on the edge of riding some of the bigger rides with her height, she needs to be 48 inches to ride the big non-looping type coasters (that won't be this year)but at 46 inches there are some of the bigger ones that she can go on if she hits that by the summer! The kiddy rides aren't thrilling enough for her it seems. I do not care which park it is! HAH! I am going to see if my friend Annie will go with us, Elise will probably go with us. It's going to be weird taking a 6 y/o and having to do the best of both worlds. But thats ok, I will do it in a heart beat with that little girl. :)

Ok call me crazy, I think I have picked this up from Marci! ;) But I started taping the show thats new on Nick called H2O Just Add Water for Gaia for when she came. Well apparently she had seen all of the episodes that I had taped at her mom's and I started playing it for her and I got into it instead of her! I love this show! Call me nuts for saying that! I blame Marci for this because she watches Disney all of the time and she made me find my inner-child I guess. But yes I admit this and gladly do that I WATCH H2O!

Anywho, I am off here. Have a good week!

Very noisy night ;)

Doesn't Saide's face say it all about what we had last night? At one point she was hidden under all the blankets on my bed to hide from the noise and sights.

Well yesterday it turned out to be a nice day. The sun came out and I spent some time outside taking pictures with my new camera. ;) I got some really cool ones of the flowers blooming in the garden. It was warm too, about 75 outside I'd say.

Went to dinner with the rents and then ran to the grocery store. But being the blonde I am, I forgot stuff! UGH TO THAT! :( Oh well, I will go get it at some point. In the car coming home, we were stopped at a stop light and I saw lightning strike through the sky and I was like oh man we are in for a long night. Got back into the neighborhood and it was still doing that and then the thunder started up. I called my aunt to see how they were doing and they were doing well. But I only talked to her for a few minutes before it started to get really bad.

The storms were crazy last night! I was reading the paper in the kitchen, with Sadie right on my lap because of the bad weather. Then the rain/hail/wind started pounding against the windows and it was almost like a tornadic type wind, I mean it was worse than 3 weeks ago when we had a confirmed tornado around here. I wasn't going to sit in the kitchen, so I took Sadie downstairs and turned on the TV so it would help tune out the noise. Not long after that the power went out and it was just like great! So the power was out for over an hour and I called the power company and they said it would be restored at 1:00am! So finally it did come back on and it had seemed like the storms were dying down, NOT! It was like it went in a huge circle or something. It finally quit at like midnight and Sadie had to go potty and I let her out and she went back upstairs. That wasn't the end of the damn things either, it came back an hour later, but I fell asleep!

Thats all that has been going on. I have been doing laundry all day today and cleaning up. Marci, sweetie I am sorry about what's going on with you. I hope that woman will turn her story around for you. You weren't stern, to me, if that was the voice you used. Keep your chin up! :hugs:

It gets better...right?

Ok call me nuts, but I think BJ is haunting me. I was folding towels last night and I felt a tug and looked down at the floor thinking maybe Sadie had walked in or something, but I looked up and saw the door was closed. And then looked down at the towel and saw it was unfolded some. Which was eerie to me, because BJ would always take the towels down off the bathtub and rub his ears on it and it felt like that kind of tugging to me.

That whole thing is getting better as each day passes. But I really don't get some one I thought was a friend. She's taking her anger out on me because I am not being all that sympathetic toward her right now, and its hard to be that way when that same person has been the same way toward you. I don't get why people always want you to be one way, but when you need them to be the same way toward you, they won't do it. Can anyone explain that to me?

I hate my job at the moment! Ugh! Not only that, hate my parents for the most part. I need to start buying stuff and hiding it somehow down in my room so I will have it still there when I want it. Don't ask! I am saving up to move out anyways, just gotta find a place I can afford and pay everything else also.

Well I will write my lengthy one here in the coming days. I really am not feeling good and glady don't have to work tomorrow. :o)

Isn't time suppose to heal old wounds?

Mmmm doesn't that look good?

As each day goes by, isn't it suppose to get easier to deal with what has been going on? I swear its not getting easier, its getting worse for me.

First off, a friend who I thought I was close with didn't call me over the weekend at all until Sunday, but even then didn't seem clued into what happened or she didn't care. Which I don't get anymore with people. She was the first person, next to Marci, to learn of what was going to happen with BJ, and thought she was going to be there, and it didn't happen. :o(

I have had a few break downs over the last few days about BJ. My aunt and uncle are struggling more than they did before he passed. My uncle, sadly, thinks he killed him instead of putting him out of his misery. How can you make him see what he did was the right thing and not the wrong one? Sadie has been acting weird the past 2 days also, its weird. Yesterday she went out in the backyard and was digging in the mud and my dad brought her in and she was caked with mud from head to toe. I had to give her a bath and later I went "Sadie were you out digging a hole to put BJ's ashes in or something?" And she tilted her head to the side like she was saying, yeah. I told my aunt that she would have to bring some of his remains to our house so we can put them in that hole. ;) Then today, my mom said she came out of her office and found Sadie laying on her back with her legs in the air. She thought was dead! She actually poked her to make sure. She took a picture of her like that, its hilarious looking at the picture!

But will the pain ever 100% fade away? No one seems to understand that it seems like anymore.